Anders (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
justice_is_blond) wrote2016-01-15 11:45 am
justice_is_blond) wrote2016-01-15 11:45 am
Inbox for Fade Rift
[Please leave a message after the beep that doesn't actually exist.]
He's not been given permission and a wave of frustration rises and is shoved back down. He wants to do everything he can for her; anger will only add to the limitations she's placed on him. Giving up on magic for the moment, Anders places a hand on her forehead to feel for a fever.
"No." No fever, either, which makes her question a little worrying. "Spirits and demons visit all people. Mages are simply more aware of them than most because we're always connected to the Fade."
He's seen possessed Templars, after all.
"That, and they spend more time harassing mages because we're physically easier to possess." Anders sits down next to her. "Is there... Have there been visits?"
"No." No fever, either, which makes her question a little worrying. "Spirits and demons visit all people. Mages are simply more aware of them than most because we're always connected to the Fade."
He's seen possessed Templars, after all.
"That, and they spend more time harassing mages because we're physically easier to possess." Anders sits down next to her. "Is there... Have there been visits?"
I speak in regard to your mention of people who would have offered aid if they knew.
[The words are slow. He doesn't know how to do the mental math of someone still calling themselves 'of a Circle' but saying Anders corrected matters, especially after all of the questions and the previous brusqueness. It means he has no idea what this man's motivations, thoughts, or true position is and he's a little off balance.]
And the men who make up the Chantry know the power that holding mages brought them, and men do not easily let go of power.
[The words are slow. He doesn't know how to do the mental math of someone still calling themselves 'of a Circle' but saying Anders corrected matters, especially after all of the questions and the previous brusqueness. It means he has no idea what this man's motivations, thoughts, or true position is and he's a little off balance.]
And the men who make up the Chantry know the power that holding mages brought them, and men do not easily let go of power.
[He's quiet as he puzzles over this; he'd clearly misjudged what Anders had meant by bringing the Chantry into it, thinking it an unbeliever's jab at the organization. It's an accusation he's so used to fending off that--to his chagrin--he hears it even when it's not being made.]
I apologize for misunderstanding, then. But regardless of the Chantry's faith in the Knight-Commander, we mages would hardly have been the ones sent to correct things.
[It's because of his own earlier misstep that he's more careful in considering Anders' next words (listen) before responding:]
That, they don't--but their hold is broken now and it remains to be seen what they will do about that.
I've faith we can root out the ones who abused and betrayed their charges, and retain the ones who remembered their responsibility toward us.
I apologize for misunderstanding, then. But regardless of the Chantry's faith in the Knight-Commander, we mages would hardly have been the ones sent to correct things.
[It's because of his own earlier misstep that he's more careful in considering Anders' next words (listen) before responding:]
That, they don't--but their hold is broken now and it remains to be seen what they will do about that.
I've faith we can root out the ones who abused and betrayed their charges, and retain the ones who remembered their responsibility toward us.
When Anders feels her forehead, Teren leans away irritably, but not before he's had a chance to find that she's not feverish. She idly swats him away with a characteristic sneer, because he's being ridiculous.
"Maybe," she sighs, taking another drink and then handing him the bottle if he wants it, never mind that it's like six-thirty in the morning. "As a rule, I don't have vivid dreams that don't involve darkspawn." And every Warden has those, so it's no big deal. "Either that's not true anymore, or I was paid a visit."
"Maybe," she sighs, taking another drink and then handing him the bottle if he wants it, never mind that it's like six-thirty in the morning. "As a rule, I don't have vivid dreams that don't involve darkspawn." And every Warden has those, so it's no big deal. "Either that's not true anymore, or I was paid a visit."
[Mage. He's always disappointed when he runs into a Loyalist. They have so much faith in a system that is set up to fail them, but they think that's the exception. Anders sighs.]
Subjugation invites bullies, and bullies protect other bullies. Even if we root out every single one who harmed a mage, we're still left with those who were silent and allowed it to happen.
[There's earnestness in his voice, a plea for Myrobalan to listen rather than an attempt to lecture.]
It should not be left up to what they will do, as they have already failed mages. It is on us to put together a system in which we are treated as people first, mages second. A system in which we truly have power, rather than First Enchanters being symbolic, because we need recourse when we are beaten, when we are punished for getting too close to someone, when we are assaulted, and so on. A system in which there is an end to Tranquility and a beginning of understanding and assistance.
I don't have the faith that you do. ...As is likely very clear. But I think we could build something that all of us could have faith in.
Subjugation invites bullies, and bullies protect other bullies. Even if we root out every single one who harmed a mage, we're still left with those who were silent and allowed it to happen.
[There's earnestness in his voice, a plea for Myrobalan to listen rather than an attempt to lecture.]
It should not be left up to what they will do, as they have already failed mages. It is on us to put together a system in which we are treated as people first, mages second. A system in which we truly have power, rather than First Enchanters being symbolic, because we need recourse when we are beaten, when we are punished for getting too close to someone, when we are assaulted, and so on. A system in which there is an end to Tranquility and a beginning of understanding and assistance.
I don't have the faith that you do. ...As is likely very clear. But I think we could build something that all of us could have faith in.
"Either's possible."
He exhales, straightening his robes for lack of something better to do with his hands before the bottle is handed to him. Anders looks in and then sets it to the side. He's brought enough attention back on himself lately; he doesn't need to be drunk.
"Would you like to tell me about it? And if you're still up because you're trying to avoid sleeping again?"
He exhales, straightening his robes for lack of something better to do with his hands before the bottle is handed to him. Anders looks in and then sets it to the side. He's brought enough attention back on himself lately; he doesn't need to be drunk.
"Would you like to tell me about it? And if you're still up because you're trying to avoid sleeping again?"
"No. And yes." Teren purses her lips in a stubborn scowl, preparing to dig her heels in... then sighs, dropping her head forward to rest her brow on her hand. "It was ...a bit too specific. To be entirely happenstance."
The Fade is an odd place, but he's not going to be patronizing. If Teren says it was too odd to be happenstance, it was. Anders nods.
"What will you let me do for you?" She doesn't want an ear, but he can't leave her here like this.
"What will you let me do for you?" She doesn't want an ear, but he can't leave her here like this.
By definition, the latter type betrayed us as well--though without abusers to follow their cowardice makes them well-behaved. That makes removing them touchy, if you'd rather be seen as a reformer than a monster.
Besides, if we punished everyone who stands by in silence while injustice goes unaddressed, we'd gut the Inquisition as well.
[The chill's back in his tone.]
Our goals aren't so far apart as you seem to believe them, serah. But--
[Thinking too hard about what Anders describes reminds him of Hasmal Circle and what isn't anymore and if he thinks too long and too hard on any of this he's going to lose his temper or worse and that will do neither of them any good.
He exhales raggedly.]
Forgive me. There's much of this I'd be glad to discuss--but I haven't the self-control for it at this time.
Besides, if we punished everyone who stands by in silence while injustice goes unaddressed, we'd gut the Inquisition as well.
[The chill's back in his tone.]
Our goals aren't so far apart as you seem to believe them, serah. But--
[Thinking too hard about what Anders describes reminds him of Hasmal Circle and what isn't anymore and if he thinks too long and too hard on any of this he's going to lose his temper or worse and that will do neither of them any good.
He exhales raggedly.]
Forgive me. There's much of this I'd be glad to discuss--but I haven't the self-control for it at this time.
[When he was possessed, he would have pushed. He would have pressed and kept on it because Justice was not patient and needed to be swift. Even now he can feel the temptation, the lingering imprints of the spirit on his mind.
But he resists.
Anders takes a breath of his own. Myrobalan is listening and is willing to talk later. That's more than many, especially loyalists.]
All right. I will speak with you later, when you are ready.
But he resists.
Anders takes a breath of his own. Myrobalan is listening and is willing to talk later. That's more than many, especially loyalists.]
All right. I will speak with you later, when you are ready.
[He's not sure if there's a time when he will be ready. He hasn't forgiven his own cousin for what happened between them during the rebellion; how much harder will it be to extend that to someone he doesn't love, whose crimes are an order of magnitude greater?
But Anders has--surprisingly--been nothing if not gracious about this.
And that's something.]
Thank you. Have a good evening.
But Anders has--surprisingly--been nothing if not gracious about this.
And that's something.]
Thank you. Have a good evening.
She actually thinks about it, instead of immediately brushing him off. Teren also doesn't complain that the whiskey is gone, since it's probably for the better anyway.
"Just..." Tell her she hasn't done him any lasting damage, swear he won't turn on her, promise not to laugh or jeer at her many insecurities, physical and emotional.
"...sit with me."
There was a time she couldn't even have that much, and it feels far too recent.
"Just..." Tell her she hasn't done him any lasting damage, swear he won't turn on her, promise not to laugh or jeer at her many insecurities, physical and emotional.
"...sit with me."
There was a time she couldn't even have that much, and it feels far too recent.
Likewise.
[And with that he ends the connection. The temptation to push is too great. He doesn't even know if he's making the right call by not trying harder, or if he's betraying the good of Justice's legacy, but his instincts are saying this is the right thing to do.
He has to trust them.]
[And with that he ends the connection. The temptation to push is too great. He doesn't even know if he's making the right call by not trying harder, or if he's betraying the good of Justice's legacy, but his instincts are saying this is the right thing to do.
He has to trust them.]
It's absolutely unexpected... and absolutely welcome.
"Of course." He doesn't really know what to do with it, being wanted like this. The last time anyone other than Nate sought his company like this for comfort was... Wasn't. It's a feeling he's unfamiliar with and he shifts a little, reconsidering the whiskey. Certainly a drink would make this easier, but he knows better.
"Did you know I'd another cat once? His name was Ser Pounce-a-lot." Babbling fixes everything, right? "Jonas found him for me after, after..." His voice loses strength. It feels a little too soon to be talking about Jonas, but he tries to continue. "After he, the cat, I mean, survived a shriek. He was... I think I should probably stop talking."
"Of course." He doesn't really know what to do with it, being wanted like this. The last time anyone other than Nate sought his company like this for comfort was... Wasn't. It's a feeling he's unfamiliar with and he shifts a little, reconsidering the whiskey. Certainly a drink would make this easier, but he knows better.
"Did you know I'd another cat once? His name was Ser Pounce-a-lot." Babbling fixes everything, right? "Jonas found him for me after, after..." His voice loses strength. It feels a little too soon to be talking about Jonas, but he tries to continue. "After he, the cat, I mean, survived a shriek. He was... I think I should probably stop talking."
Teren can't bring herself to even be annoyed when Anders starts rambling about cats, since the company is distracting and... well, deep down in her shriveled little heart, she maybe finds it endearing.
"Tougher than most, by the sound of it," she concludes, raising an eyebrow at him. "Go on."
"Tougher than most, by the sound of it," she concludes, raising an eyebrow at him. "Go on."
It is a strange thing, to be asked to talk more about his cat. Teren must have had a downright awful dream. Anders nods.
"He was absolutely tougher than most. He clawed a genlock in the eye, jumped on an ogre's head to distract it so we could get to safer positions, went on so many trips into the Deep Roads with me... He was fantastic. A true little warrior." He gives her a small smile. "I've been trying to train Purrelden as his match, but there was something inherently scrappy about Pounce. Maybe it's that I got Purrelden as a kitten and he had some time on his own, or maybe it's simply personality. I've no real idea. Have you ever had a pet? Aside from Shoes over there."
He knows he gave the druffalo the wrong name. Right now he's trying to pull her out of her mood, and that may just help.
"He was absolutely tougher than most. He clawed a genlock in the eye, jumped on an ogre's head to distract it so we could get to safer positions, went on so many trips into the Deep Roads with me... He was fantastic. A true little warrior." He gives her a small smile. "I've been trying to train Purrelden as his match, but there was something inherently scrappy about Pounce. Maybe it's that I got Purrelden as a kitten and he had some time on his own, or maybe it's simply personality. I've no real idea. Have you ever had a pet? Aside from Shoes over there."
He knows he gave the druffalo the wrong name. Right now he's trying to pull her out of her mood, and that may just help.
Friendship with a spirit; Atticus had known others in his time in Minrathous prone to similar hubris. It had ended in the way one might expect, the nature of the death hastily obfuscated, the remains of the body disposed of discreetly. Atticus has never known a spirit to exit a living host willingly--nor to see the host himself survive the process.
He draws his hand back from the blue glow and gives Anders a piercing look through the black helm obscuring his face. "You were an abomination."
He draws his hand back from the blue glow and gives Anders a piercing look through the black helm obscuring his face. "You were an abomination."
"I've heard it said that if one retains their humanity they aren't an abomination," he says, voice mild. "But according to every other definition of it, yes."
It's not a strong argument against the label at all, but a part of working with Mercy is her requirement to have mercy on himself as well as extend it to others. Both are challenging, but the former more so than the latter.
He studies the figure before him, finally settling on it being more likely a spirit than a demon. There had been no attack and there had been no promises. There's a cold curiosity there that whittles the book-length list of spirit names to a few, in his opinion, Knowledge and Wisdom chief among them. What he knows even less than the being's identity is if spirits feel any sort of loyalty to each other, and if one might find the loss of a Justice spirit to be a wrong that must be righted. There's something of very faint buzz in the air, dream reflecting the tension that he feels as he wonders as he should be bracing for a fight.
Anders crosses his arms a little defensively, though the wall behind him gets a glance. He's neglecting it, and there is some ephemeral reason he needs to keep building it.
"We joined peacefully with no lies or fake promises. Only misguided optimism. There's nothing in any books we could find about a spirit joining with someone rather than a demon joining."
It's not a strong argument against the label at all, but a part of working with Mercy is her requirement to have mercy on himself as well as extend it to others. Both are challenging, but the former more so than the latter.
He studies the figure before him, finally settling on it being more likely a spirit than a demon. There had been no attack and there had been no promises. There's a cold curiosity there that whittles the book-length list of spirit names to a few, in his opinion, Knowledge and Wisdom chief among them. What he knows even less than the being's identity is if spirits feel any sort of loyalty to each other, and if one might find the loss of a Justice spirit to be a wrong that must be righted. There's something of very faint buzz in the air, dream reflecting the tension that he feels as he wonders as he should be bracing for a fight.
Anders crosses his arms a little defensively, though the wall behind him gets a glance. He's neglecting it, and there is some ephemeral reason he needs to keep building it.
"We joined peacefully with no lies or fake promises. Only misguided optimism. There's nothing in any books we could find about a spirit joining with someone rather than a demon joining."
The equivocation (if it can really be qualified as such) isn't what draws Atticus' attention, isn't what causes him to draw slightly closer to Anders through the dreamscape around them. It's the act itself of excising a thing from the soul, when all others have believed, forever, that it cannot be done. It's looking a death sentence in the eye and choosing instead to live--or at the very least, to die on one's own terms.
He waves a hand as though brushing the other man's justifications aside. He doesn't care. "How did you do it?" he presses. "How did you free yourself?"
He waves a hand as though brushing the other man's justifications aside. He doesn't care. "How did you do it?" he presses. "How did you free yourself?"
He feels very distant in this moment, as if he's an object to study rather than a person. It's not an unfamiliar feeling. It's not a welcome feeling. But there is every chance they're in the territory of something far stronger than himself or Mercy and he does not care to risk angering a creature here. He wants to wake up again, after all.
"Binding him and opening a way back. A connection. It was complicated and I don't even remember much of it." It's half-true. He'd avoided knowing some aspects to give it a greater chance of success - what Justice didn't know about he couldn't prepare for - but he'd reviewed it after. He wanted it to be available in case others wound up in similar situations.
"Why? Do you know a mage in danger?" It's not likely, but it's a possibility.
"Binding him and opening a way back. A connection. It was complicated and I don't even remember much of it." It's half-true. He'd avoided knowing some aspects to give it a greater chance of success - what Justice didn't know about he couldn't prepare for - but he'd reviewed it after. He wanted it to be available in case others wound up in similar situations.
"Why? Do you know a mage in danger?" It's not likely, but it's a possibility.
Sometimes Anders talking about his cat is irritating, but it's also reliably Anders, which is pleasantly grounding when one is trying to remember that dreams aren't real.
Teren smirks slightly, appreciating the heroic feline of the narrative. She's fine enough with Purrelden, but she may have really liked Pounce.
At Anders' question, she looks dully over her shoulder at Boots and shrugs indifferently; they can call him whatever they want, he's never going to know his name. "Just the cats round the docks," she muses, "they weren't mine, but I'd watch them hunt the barge rats."
Teren smirks slightly, appreciating the heroic feline of the narrative. She's fine enough with Purrelden, but she may have really liked Pounce.
At Anders' question, she looks dully over her shoulder at Boots and shrugs indifferently; they can call him whatever they want, he's never going to know his name. "Just the cats round the docks," she muses, "they weren't mine, but I'd watch them hunt the barge rats."
”Why? Do you know a mage in danger?”
He does, although what plagues Sina is not something so easily ensnared and ousted as a demon--a task which in and of itself was monumental in nature. The scars in the Fade surrounding Anders are testament enough to that.
It is a possibility, a potential way forward for her, but in her fragile condition, it’s doubtful the shard could survive the process. He dismisses it out of hand.
“This is the Fade. You are always in danger,” he tells Anders instead, his tone a little silky. But to leave the young man with suspicious dreams would only draw attention to himself, and he’s revealed enough of his hand for one night. Instead, he motions to the incomplete building behind Anders.
“Put your hand to your task again,” he suggests, his tone almost gentle. “I think you’ll find, upon a second attempt, that the work comes easier.” He shifts his fingers towards the crumbling bricks and thinks, strength.
He does, although what plagues Sina is not something so easily ensnared and ousted as a demon--a task which in and of itself was monumental in nature. The scars in the Fade surrounding Anders are testament enough to that.
It is a possibility, a potential way forward for her, but in her fragile condition, it’s doubtful the shard could survive the process. He dismisses it out of hand.
“This is the Fade. You are always in danger,” he tells Anders instead, his tone a little silky. But to leave the young man with suspicious dreams would only draw attention to himself, and he’s revealed enough of his hand for one night. Instead, he motions to the incomplete building behind Anders.
“Put your hand to your task again,” he suggests, his tone almost gentle. “I think you’ll find, upon a second attempt, that the work comes easier.” He shifts his fingers towards the crumbling bricks and thinks, strength.
The name teasing didn't get the sort of reaction he'd been hoping for so Anders drops it. At least she seems to be amused by tales of Pounce.
"Rats can put up quite the fight; I can imagine the cats were excellent hunters. I want another one. Another hunter. Not to replace Purrelden, I love her, but a cat I could take down to the Deep Roads. It's... dark down there."
It's a lame end to the sentence, but he can't put into words why he dislikes the dark so much even if he was willing to simply wander into telling someone about the fear starting while he was in solitary.
"I've never liked them, but a cat makes them bearable. Except if I brought Purrelden I'd worry about her constantly rather than focusing on what we were there to do, so that's not an option with her."
Other trips are still fair game, and he wonders if he should blather on about that next or if Teren would prefer to hear him chatter about something else.
"Rats can put up quite the fight; I can imagine the cats were excellent hunters. I want another one. Another hunter. Not to replace Purrelden, I love her, but a cat I could take down to the Deep Roads. It's... dark down there."
It's a lame end to the sentence, but he can't put into words why he dislikes the dark so much even if he was willing to simply wander into telling someone about the fear starting while he was in solitary.
"I've never liked them, but a cat makes them bearable. Except if I brought Purrelden I'd worry about her constantly rather than focusing on what we were there to do, so that's not an option with her."
Other trips are still fair game, and he wonders if he should blather on about that next or if Teren would prefer to hear him chatter about something else.
The wall becomes all-important again, and Anders' attention is immediately drawn to it in spite of the words that almost sounded threatening. He has to build what's been broken, what he's broken and others have broken, in order to keep going. Where, he's not entirely sure. He's also not entirely sure it matters right now as he wanders back to his work.
This time when a stone is placed and he uses primal magic to join it to the surrounding stones, it stays. He stares at it in bleary surprise before reaching out and touching it, confirming what his eyes are telling him. Anders grabs another stone and adds it quickly, as if the stability might be a fleeting thing, and the second stays in place too. Some tension leaves his shoulders as he continues working. Actual progress is happening. This area of the Fade is no longer as dark and dim as it had been, and Mercy's faint glow is barely perceptible around her as more light comes in.
The Fade isn't pressing in on him for once, there are no Darkspawn currently howling... Dimly he recalls that there'd been someone with him a few moments ago, but it's a dream and anything aside the stone wall is already getting distant and murky.
This time when a stone is placed and he uses primal magic to join it to the surrounding stones, it stays. He stares at it in bleary surprise before reaching out and touching it, confirming what his eyes are telling him. Anders grabs another stone and adds it quickly, as if the stability might be a fleeting thing, and the second stays in place too. Some tension leaves his shoulders as he continues working. Actual progress is happening. This area of the Fade is no longer as dark and dim as it had been, and Mercy's faint glow is barely perceptible around her as more light comes in.
The Fade isn't pressing in on him for once, there are no Darkspawn currently howling... Dimly he recalls that there'd been someone with him a few moments ago, but it's a dream and anything aside the stone wall is already getting distant and murky.
Being irritated by jokes about the druffalo she didn't want is all but admitting she wants the druffalo, so of course Teren doesn't react. Also, in the deep dark recesses of her shriveled heart, she finds 'cutesy bootsy' endearing.
Revolting.
"Most of the journeys we take are no place for a cat," she observes, "it's kinder to leave her here." Not that the cat can't fend for herself, but not all of them will be Pounce.
Revolting.
"Most of the journeys we take are no place for a cat," she observes, "it's kinder to leave her here." Not that the cat can't fend for herself, but not all of them will be Pounce.
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