justice_is_blond | Inbox for Fade Rift

So...the other night, a Spirit of Compassion spoke with me.

[He says this very casually for someone who has been trying to accomplish this for several weeks, and who sat on the good news for days instead of cheering about it immediately like a normal person.]

You can't leave it there.

[There's pride and happiness in his voice.]

And the other night? Not even last night? What mage sits on news like that?

I do, apparently. Sorry. It told me I ought to have more patience and kindness with myself, and I wanted to think some things through on my own. It's, um. It told me I had some things to do before it would work with me. Which is good, because demons don't make you impress them before trying to possess you, so it's definitely a spirit. But it'll probably be a bit. Before it starts working with me.

It's all right, Colin, I'm teasing you. And it makes sense that there's more work to do. Mercy set me a task that I'll likely be at the whole of my life.

[He pauses for a moment.]

Would you like to talk about what Compassion is asking of you?

Um, the first one is it wants me to choose a templar and hear his story, then...things.

[That was probably the wrong part of the sentence to choose to omit, but he cut off too late.]

Then it'll tell me the next thing it wants me to do, [is what he decides to amend it to.]

I... see.

[Compassion for Templars. Spirits are assholes. Or maybe they're just impartial and tied up in what they are, but he'd prefer to consider this Compassion spirit a bit of an asshole. Anders tries to keep that from his voice, though. It's not Colin's fault the spirit chose this.]

Do you have a Templar in mind to listen to?

Yes. [Colin sounds a bit more animated.] The spirit didn't specify it to be him, but I think it knew it would be. He's someone I--I thought--I guess we were friends. Or are, and I'm just hung up on finding out he's a templar. It said that after I listen to him, I am to forgive him. I don't know what for.

To the best of my knowledge, there is no Templar here who is actually innocent. So it will be forgiving them, him, for what he's done by action or inaction.

[Forgive a Templar. Maker.]

Is there any sort of... waiting for him to ask to be forgiven?

[Or is this Compassion spirit just interested in making a doormat of Colin? Anders is still working to sound pleased enough; that one is talking to Colin is a good thing and he doesn't want to diminish his student's joy or accomplishment.]

Um. [Colin doesn't sound impatient with Anders, but he is uncomfortable when he has to disagree with people he likes.] Innocent people don't need forgiveness. And if the tests were easy, there'd be no point. I mean it's easy to forgive someone who didn't really do anything wrong. I've thought about it and I don't really think this test is about the templar so much as it is about me. Forgiving someone who did something really bad, that's more about the person doing the forgiving than it is about the person being forgiven. Compassion wants to make a deal with that kind of person. And it probably doesn't want to channel through all that bitterness every time it has to heal a templar.

But I don't think he would've done something really terrible. I don't know. I do know I...miss him.

Edited 2018-04-04 14:33 (UTC)

It's the 'don't know what for' that I was addressing.

[His voice is gentle.]

Some... Some of them are willing to learn. Some are willing to accept that there were abuses, and that staying silent and ignoring it was not right. For your sake, I will hope that your... that he is one of those.

[It is not a weakness to forgive. He should even be glad that Colin is so ready to, but his own baggage weighs too heavily for him to feel that.]

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