justice_is_blond | Inbox for Fade Rift

That tells Anders plenty. He'd heard Nate having to calm people down with Alistair's message, knows Nate often has to be the grown up with the serious message, and he knows how it drains his husband.

"It can't be easy to have to keep everyone on track. And it's not just thankless. People don't like it when you point out that they're acting in an immature fashion." He sighs, still gently playing with Nate's hair. "I appreciate the tremendous job you do, love. But it's hardly fair that it's all on you."

Anders shifts so he can kiss the top of Nate's head without dislodging his husband. "Would you like to talk more about it? Or," he adds as an idea comes to mind, "would you like me to show you how much I appreciate you?"

Nathaniel wants to argue. He doesn't do a tremendous job because this is hard and he's thinking every manner of ill about Loghain while hypocritically telling everyone to calm down. He hasn't done anything worthy of appreciation. But then Anders would argue back, and Nathaniel would feel even guiltier for making someone come to his defense. Sex will help distract him, and it will let him give something good to Anders. He peers up at his husband.

"What did you have in mind?" he asks.

He smiles down at Nate, hoping that he's helping. Sometimes it's hard to tell. Nate can be reserved, while Anders shows everything, but the response is promising.

"I was thinking of laying you on your back and taking my time, undressing you, kissing you, touching you. Spoiling you, mein Barchen. Showing you what you mean to me and letting you relax and enjoy yourself."

Nathaniel doesn't look quite convinced, but he's willing to give it a try. His brow furrows, but he nods, sitting up a little.

"All right."

There's definitely some things on Nate's mind. Anders sits up with him and kisses that furrowed brow.

"I love you. I absolutely love you, and find your strength admirable... and know that it's impossible to be strong at all times. Relax, love."

Slowly he kisses down Nate's nose to his chin, before reaching up to fluff the tiny beard.

"I have you. Let me carry your weight for a little so you can breathe." Nate's jaw gets the next kiss as Anders takes his time opening up Nate's top.

Nathaniel tries to focus on the ceiling. Maybe he can get through this, allow just one time for Anders to take the lead. Wasn't there another time? Yes, just after he was asked to be Warden-Constable. That had been incredible sex. What was different then?

He'd felt secure. Not safe, but confident. Like he had nothing to make up for. Then it turned out the man who offered him the job was a corrupt Venatori collaborator. He feels like a different man than the one who thought he would be a Warden-Constable. But Anders sees no difference between the Warden-Constable and Ser Nathaniel. He is the same.

He starts to relax. Soon, his head drops back against the pillow and a sigh goes out of him, opening up a pathway down his throat for Anders to kiss.

"There you are." His voice is hushed as if he's afraid he'll disrupt the moment. Nate doesn't relax like this easily or often.

He takes his time with Nate's neck, lingering over the sides and the peak of the apple. As soon as the fastenings of Nate's shirt are undone he's adding a hand to the mix, fingers trailing up a side to play with the hair at the top of Nate's neck.

"My treasure." With the other hand he pushes the shirt open so he can rest it there over Nate's heart, feeling the beat underneath his palm. There's a tangible smile to his lips as he trails kisses over Nate's collarbones and shoulders, as he breathes in the scent of his husband.

For now, it's nice. There's even a faint smile when Anders calls him my treasure. He remembers that dizzying feeling of being underneath Anders' hands and body, trying to be quiet because the camp was small, Anders' slender hand wrapped around them both as they thrust. It had been perfect.

He breathes deeply, his hands sliding up and down Anders' back, tracing the lines of his shoulders and the bumps of his spine.

He hums happily against Nate's chest, kissing his way to a nipple and giving that a gentle nip.

"You don't hear it enough, so let me say it again: you're gorgeous, my love."

Anders urges the shirt off Nate's shoulders so he can nibble along one while smoothing his hand over Nate's chest and stomach, down to Nate's pants which he starts opening up.

"And you deserve to be lavished with attention and affection. But I'm so glad you're mine, and I get to give that to you. No one else. I've never wanted someone as selfishly as I do you."

Once the pants are undone enough Anders is reaching in and gently rubbing at Nate's length. The motions aren't urgent or desperate. Instead it's like he's exploring again for the first time.

It feels good. But now, Anders is down where Nathaniel has to look down his own body to see him. And Nathaniel remembers now why Anders doesn't usually get to do this. He can't name just one feature of his own that he hates, just the queasy feeling he gets from seeing himself while someone treats him so tenderly. His hand comes up to cover his face, head falling back in defeat.

"Stop."

He stops right away, pulling his hand out, sitting up and studying what he can see of Nate's face.

"Nate?" He's never been asked to stop before, not by Nate, and it leaves him worried. "Talk to me, please."

Nathaniel is coming to a long-awaited and hard-earned realization. He uncovers his face, but he's looking at the ceiling.

"I don't know," he says quietly, still putting half-thoughts together. "I...don't like seeing myself naked."

While he'd known Nate had issues with how he looked, Anders hadn't quite grasped how deep they ran, apparently. Gently he closes Nate's shirt and stretches out next to his husband. He takes a breath and is at a little loss for words.

Eventually he brushes some of Nate's hair back and rests a hand against his husband's cheek.

"I find you so attractive, love." His voice is soft. "The day I met you, I wanted you. I'd give anything to help you see that."

Nathaniel's gaze locks to Anders'. He is blushing, partly from the action and partly from shame.

"I know," he answers quietly. "I do." He covers the hand on his cheek with his own hand, turns to kiss the palm. "My parents always called Thomas the handsome one. Any time anyone came to visit, all three of us were lined up like soldiers for inspection, and they both took turns picking over us. Finding things that were wrong with our appearances. They always spent longest on me."

He reaches up to tuck a stray strand of perfect golden hair behind Anders' ear.

"You're going to say I deserved better. Father used to say no one deserves anything--you have it, or you don't." His brow furrows and there is a small, helpless widening of his eyes. "Then he murdered an entire family and took their land, wealth, and titles, so."

Edited 2017-10-02 16:57 (UTC)

He hates Rendon Howe. His wife as well, but Rendon the most.

"Your father is an asshole and an idiot and in this, as with most things, he was absolutely wrong." There's venom in Anders' voice, the sort that's usually reserved for people like Alrik or Keras. "Void take Rendon Howe, and everything he ever said. There's no such thing as the handsome one, just biased morons who got some asinine thrill out of tearing down the most amazing man I know. I love looking at you, Nate, I love seeing you. I love sometimes waking up in the night and letting a wisp light the room faintly so I can marvel at the man who loves me."

He leans forward to kiss Nate's lips, gently at first but if there's a response it'll become very passionate indeed.

It takes Nathaniel a second to respond, chiefly because he is surprised. He can't think of a time when Anders kissed him angry. He thinks briefly of Justice, of that black anger he would bring to Anders. Very few topics of conversation make Anders this angry. Mages, Templars, and...Rendon Howe, apparently. But for once, someone's anger at Rendon Howe isn't hitting Nathaniel by proxy.

His hips roll upward against Anders, and he soon breaks away, breathless and a bit stunned and trying to remember what it was he was going to say. He would like to go with the flow, but he wants...something else. Forceful, protective Anders is ridiculously sexy, but there is more that could be had.

"I know the old ways are wrong," he says slowly. "How he taught me to think was wrong. But I can't just unlearn the old ways. I need to learn new ways. And I'm afraid of what it all means. Loghain is...the last curtain to be pulled aside before I really understand what sort of man my father was. And I want him to have been better than people say. I want him to have loved me enough to have given me something good."

He brushes Nate's hair back needlessly, searching his eyes, trying to find words that will heal and help.

"You. You are good. You don't need him to have some undiscovered glimmer of goodness buried deep down. I..."

It could be that he's the wrong person to assist with sorting this out. All he remembers of his father is the rush to get Templars, to get rid of his son, and he has no desire to redeem his father. Nate wants to love Rendon. Anders takes a breath and wraps around his husband.

"Someone who loves you doesn't line you up and tear into you. Someone who loves you shows it. But it doesn't say anything against you if he didn't love you. You are a good man, Nathaniel, genuinely good, and there are so few in this world that can be said about."

He drops one hand to rest on Nate's chest. "Learn a new way here. You're loved. You're so loved for who you are."

Nathaniel gazes up at this vision of loveliness, this man whose heart fills his body, who hurts as if his hurt can take away Nathaniel's pain. And as heartbeats pass, the pain ebbs. Why does Nathaniel cling so to the idea of fatherly love when he is loved so dearly by someone else? He sits up and captures Anders' lips. This man is the only family he needs. After a moment, he lies back again, opening his shirt to where Anders had it before.

"Show me," he breathes.

He breathes out in relief, giving Nate an adoring look. Nate trusts him.

Anders smooths his hands over Nate's stomach again, returning his lips there as well and picking up about where he'd left off. "You could bounce a copper off your stomach, love," he murmurs against the skin. "You're in fantastic shape, and I don't have words for how much I like seeing these muscles strain when you're turned on and driving deep into me."

As his hand slips back into Nate's pants, Anders shoots a coy little smile upward. "I think I'd prefer to show you how much I like your cock rather than tell you. Would you like that? May I suck you off?"

He can't remember the last time he came inside someone's mouth. He always stopped things when he grew uncomfortable with the sight of his own body. Now, there is an exercise aspect to watching someone suck him off. He loves to watch Anders, love to reaffirm in his mind how very perfect this man is, and how lucky Nathaniel is for having him. He breathes deep and gives Anders a nod, gaze flickering to his own body, trying to rob his imagination of the power to tell him lies.

"You may." It was confidence that had allowed him to let Anders take control, that one time when it had been so beautiful. Nathaniel's confidence is growing now, along with his interest.

He surges up to kiss Nate hungrily at that, feeling so very turned on by his husband's strength. Nate's pants get pushed open and down as his mouth is ravished. When he breaks the kiss for air he holds Nate's gaze steadily.

"You are so strong, my love. I'm constantly in awe of you." He urges Nate's pants down and off as he talks before returning to stroking his husband's cock gently, warming it up. Then, slowly, he sinks down to take Nate into his mouth, tongue working over the head. He loves the taste of Nate, and he shows it with a pleased moan as he slips his hand down to toy with Nate's balls. Everything about this is beautiful to him, and he hopes one day that Nate can see it too.

Anders is rewarded with a sharp gasp as Nathaniel feels his mouth close around the tip, his tongue precise in its intimate knowledge of him. A hand warms his balls and Nathaniel makes himself watch. There is something spectacular about seeing himself disappearing slowly into Anders, the same visual confirmation which turned him off before now having the opposite effect. He wants to touch Anders, briefly feels useless that he cannot, but he reminds himself that is practically the entire point here. He will have his turn with Anders after this. Right now, he is to lie back, relax, and learn how to let Anders do the lavishing for once.

He starts to lose himself in this, the sound of Nate's gasp filling his ears as he's surrounded by the taste and feel and scent of his beloved. Nate once told him no one liked the taste of cock, but Nate's wrong. Anders loves it because it's Nate.

He bobs his head up and down, taking more of Nate in each time until has Nate's cock all the way in. Anders swallows around him, then, knowing how it feels, staying down as long as he can before he needs more air.

Teasingly his fingers go a little further back, brushing the taint and teasing the ring of muscles back there before returning to where they'd started, palming and stroking. Nate is fantastic when he's in charge, when he's sure of himself and showering affection on Anders, but this surrender is as beautiful as that, especially with the work it's taking Nate. Anders' heart is as full as his mouth and throat and he sucks hard on his back up this time.

A whimper escapes Nate's throat when he is hilted, and after a moment, his hips roll involuntarily, and he indulges in a louder moan. It's when Anders sucks on his way back up that his back arches and be groans.

"Maker," he gasps, "I married an artist."

That goes straight to his ego, as the way Nate writhes goes to his cock, and he has to take a short break from the task at hand that he's absolutely enjoying.

"And you are my masterpiece." His voice is a little hoarse, a cock down his throat does that, but he doesn't mind and he's quick to return to his task with an eager lick along the tiny opening at the head of Nate's cock. While he rests a hand on Nate's hip to have a little bit more warning the next time he's being thrust up into, there's no force there. He wants more reactions like that because Nate is glorious when he lets go.

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