[Her fear makes sense. But she's fearing the unknown when she could find out for sure.]
You won't know until you talk with him, Pel. Maybe he'll be just as worthless as the other man, maybe he won't. What are you gaining by building up your doubts like this?
I gain--Anders, I know men like Saeris. And I don't want this baby to have someone who abandons it before it's even born. I'm not much of a mother if that's the first thing I do for it.
[His voice is still gentle, still patient. He can't blame her for judging someone; he does it all the time.]
If this Saeris chooses to have nothing to do with the child, then your child never has to know. Let that be on him, though, so that when your child asks, you don't feel guilt. Because your child will ask as soon as they see other children with two parents. Lucci and Kieran are not the only littler ones running around Skyhold.
Maybe I see it as protection. [She swallows.] Or maybe I'm the worst person in the world, or I've been abandoned enough times myself that I can't but see it as inevitable.
It's... If he chooses to have nothing to do with the child, it's nothing on you, and nothing on your child. It's him. His irresponsibility, his failure. You're not being abandoned. He's not being responsible. And you've your family-by-choice that's not abandoning you either.
[It's hard. It will take more than words for her to get over that fear; it will take time and seeing. He's still worried some of the time about the Wardens now that Herc is gone, still sometimes fears that Nate will find someone better. But it's getting better.]
I trust you, and you tell things to me straight even if I don't want to hear them. [A flash of an apologetic smile.] And you try to make me comfortable even when it's just my jaw.
The first is what friends are for, and the last is what healers are for. I daresay I fit into both slots. Are there any other services I can provide? I know where to get cats. There aren't any nearby Darkspawn I can kill for you, though.
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You won't know until you talk with him, Pel. Maybe he'll be just as worthless as the other man, maybe he won't. What are you gaining by building up your doubts like this?
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[His voice is still gentle, still patient. He can't blame her for judging someone; he does it all the time.]
If this Saeris chooses to have nothing to do with the child, then your child never has to know. Let that be on him, though, so that when your child asks, you don't feel guilt. Because your child will ask as soon as they see other children with two parents. Lucci and Kieran are not the only littler ones running around Skyhold.
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[At least he can be certain on that point.]
It's... If he chooses to have nothing to do with the child, it's nothing on you, and nothing on your child. It's him. His irresponsibility, his failure. You're not being abandoned. He's not being responsible. And you've your family-by-choice that's not abandoning you either.
[It's hard. It will take more than words for her to get over that fear; it will take time and seeing. He's still worried some of the time about the Wardens now that Herc is gone, still sometimes fears that Nate will find someone better. But it's getting better.]
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You're probably right. I just need to think on it, is all. I need...bolstering. Like this. What you're doing.
[She has secluded herself so much lately, and now she has to make a conscious effort to end that seclusion. She has to rely on people.]
I want...I want you to deliver my baby.
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It would be my honor, Pel.
[It takes a lot of trust to ask that, especially when she's got options. It means the world to have her trust.]
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The first is what friends are for, and the last is what healers are for. I daresay I fit into both slots. Are there any other services I can provide? I know where to get cats. There aren't any nearby Darkspawn I can kill for you, though.