Inbox for Fade Rift

[justice_is_blond]

[Please leave a message after the beep that doesn't actually exist.]

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[justice_is_blond]

Thanks to me? I don't even know your name.

[Cats = happy. Clearly this man just doesn't understand that yet.]

[universal_charm]

_{[ Cats = selfish bastards who knock stuff off your shelves to prove their misguided sense of superiority. ]}

My name is Jim Kirk. I room with Sam, who has acquired two new kittens from you, or so he's told me.

[justice_is_blond]

Oh. Now I see.

[He sounds a little pleased with himself.]

Room with Sam, or room with Sam? And there was no foisting. He was besotted rather quickly with the two of them.

[universal_charm]

Anyone would be with kittens - they're adorable like every baby animal.

_{[ He deftly ignores the other question. ]}

Did you have to con him into two?

[justice_is_blond]

Con? That would suggest I implied they were something other than kittens. There was no conning going on, and I'm going to note that you did not answer my question. Why should I answer yours if you don't answer mine?

[universal_charm]

Convincing people to take animals they don't need I would consider conning.

_{[ He's glaring on his end of things. ]}

Why does it matter to you whether I room with Sam or room with him?

[justice_is_blond]

Trust me. Sam needed the kittens. And it matters because I've not had the opportunity to make him blush in some time and I've missed it.

[Meanwhile, he's enjoying himself.]

[universal_charm]

_{[ ... Damn it. Making Sam blush is one of his favorite games. He can't fault someone else for liking it too. But no! He would not like this kitten hustler! ]}

Needed them or you needed to pawn them off on someone?

_{[ A pause. ]}

And I'm rooming with him exactly as you think I am.

[justice_is_blond]

You didn't see the look on his face when he sat down and started playing with them. There are plenty of homeless cats doing well in Skyhold, these could have joined that herd. But Sam connected with these cats.

And thank you. I'll keep that in mind for my next conversation with him.

[universal_charm]

You sure it wasn't your own delusion or a trick of the light?

_{[ DAMN IT, SAM. ]}

[justice_is_blond]

There's no change of lighting that can change how quick he was to play with them and start smiling at them. I'm very certain.

[A beat]

Not to mention that if it was a delusion, he wouldn't have brought two cats home, would he have?

[universal_charm]

_{[ Anders, stop using logic, it's hurting his righteous rage argument here. ]}

I don't know. You sound like you can sweet talk a cat into taking on a pet fish.

[justice_is_blond]

[Anders uses logic! It's super effective!]

Anyone could do that. The difficult part would be convincing the cat to not eat that pet fish. Varric's the only one I know who may be able to manage that. Perhaps Zevran.

[universal_charm]

_{[ Curses, it's like fighting with Spock all over again! And hey! He's met both those people! ]}

I can see Zevran managing it, not sure about Varric.

[justice_is_blond]

[At least he can't do any Vulcan nerve pinches.]

Go to Varric and ask him to tell you a story. At the end, try to figure out what parts are true and what ones are not, and I can guarantee a great deal of the time you'll be wrong. Varric is exceedingly good at talking his way into and out of things.

It's a good thing for most people in power that they do not team up often.

[universal_charm]

_{[ Kirk is considering using it on you Anders if ever sees you in person. Hopefully so you land face down in a meat pie. ]}

Is he where you learned the skill of pawning cats?

[justice_is_blond]

As I said, I had nearly no work to do there at all. I merely needed to point out that anyone could take them home and he did.

...And, perhaps, after he was done with his lovely nap, I put them back on him so that he wouldn't be too disoriented. But any friend would do that.

[universal_charm]

_{[ A pause. A thinking one. ]}

What "nap"?

[justice_is_blond]

[...Oops. Answer a question with a question, that's the way to distract, right?]

You didn't notice that we didn't return right away?

[universal_charm]

From what? And don't side step.

[justice_is_blond]

[Sam why.]

He, and a few others, attempted to assist me with a project that turned out to be exhausting. Where did you think I gave him the cats? In Skyhold itself? He probably would have wound up with five, then.

[universal_charm]

_{[ There's a low growl on his end. ]}

How "exhausting" exactly?

[justice_is_blond]

Exhausting enough that we needed to rest after, there.

[This is why partners need to communicate, for Maker's sake.]

[universal_charm]

_{[ Yeah, not buying it. ]}

He had a long enoug nap that you had to give the kittens back "after" he woke up from it? As in you took them back - probably to care for them? Sounds like one hell of a nap.

_{[ AKA - I don't believe you. ]}

[justice_is_blond]

I put them on him because they'd climbed off, as kittens do. I didn't have to take care of them.