justice_is_blond | Inbox for Fade Rift

Of course.

[There's a flash of a smile again, against Nate's skin, at the mention of the tree. That had been absolutely delicious. He's going to need to provoke Nate like that again sometime, maybe when they're off in the trees alone... and he's getting sidetracked.]

Ask anything you'd like. And people will gossip about the tree and forget about it.

[Likely the next time Zevran shoves Anders against something they'll have entirely forgotten Nate had.]

[Ah, that is true. Nathaniel smiles.]

In the event someone develops...feelings. I...think we should be able to talk about it--when Justice is safely back in the Fade. Not before, but...definitely then. Is that fair?

[He goes still, trying to process what that means.]

Are...

[There's only one way to take it. It's not an 'in the event.' There is something, Nathaniel feels something, but he doesn't want to be with an abomination.

And Anders may never be separated from Justice.]

You suggested it.

[His voice is small, a little hurt.]

You'd...

[Nate had the idea that he merge with Justice and Anders has never held it against the archer, because who could have known what would happen, but this is incredibly not fair if he's reading between the lines. Anders sags against Nate. But can he really blame the man? Anders is possessed, and Nate and Justice had never liked each other. Anders had recently reminded Nate of this, even, and he's just gone through the mental notes about how this is safer if they're not attached.]

[It takes him a second to realize what Anders means. His eyes widen.]

That--no. I--Anders. [His face burns. He should have said it differently.]

There is nothing wrong with you as you are. Nothing. But I...I don't want you to be torn between him and me. It's not that I wouldn't want you. It's that you have too many powerful forces trying to influence you as it is, him and others. You don't need another.

[So many things could go wrong, so many ways Nathaniel could mishandle it without knowing.]

I don't want...to be in a position where I could hurt you.

[He needs a few moments to breathe and reprocess everything that's being said, still curled up and feeling a thousand different emotions. He's not entirely sure he follows the point Nate is making, but he'll cling to Nate saying it's not that he's an abomination, at least.]

All right.

[His voice is quiet, and he's filled with regret and questions he can't ask. How long has Nate felt things for him? Why didn't he even hint at it? Why... A dozen whys and they'll not be voiced.]

All right.

[He needs to focus and keep from hoping, push it down, because there's not a lot of hope when it comes to being unpossessed anyway. This is something that will not happen, and he has to accept that no matter how he wants things to go differently.]

You'd... You'd likely be hurt too. It's better this way.

[Still trying to convince himself, but he'll manage.]

[He hadn't expected Anders to seem this hurt. But Anders doesn't know the last resort is still an option. Anders doesn't know Justice is going, one way or another.

That's why they can't be together.

He kisses Anders' brow.]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.

[THIS IS WHAT HE MEANS love is so dumb and it's too easy to hurt someone.]

[He doesn't say it's all right because he's not all right, but he can accept this in time. At the end of the day, Anders doesn't want to drag someone else down or see them hurt because of him. It's just hard to know that he could have love except it's dangling just out of reach, possibly for good.

Anders closes his eyes and leans there, listening to Nate's heart beat.]

I know. I know you didn't.

[He'll take what Nate is willing to give him. It's still more than he expected.]

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