Nathaniel tries to focus on the ceiling. Maybe he can get through this, allow just one time for Anders to take the lead. Wasn't there another time? Yes, just after he was asked to be Warden-Constable. That had been incredible sex. What was different then?

He'd felt secure. Not safe, but confident. Like he had nothing to make up for. Then it turned out the man who offered him the job was a corrupt Venatori collaborator. He feels like a different man than the one who thought he would be a Warden-Constable. But Anders sees no difference between the Warden-Constable and Ser Nathaniel. He is the same.

He starts to relax. Soon, his head drops back against the pillow and a sigh goes out of him, opening up a pathway down his throat for Anders to kiss.