It would be nice to keep sulking. Easy, too, to shrug off what's being said because he's in a bad mood and he doesn't want to feel optimistic or hopeful right now, and not just because of the risks. Anders almost wants to make some passing comment and go off and be alone and mope and gripe at Purrelden about nothing ever turning around... but Nate deserves better and deserves, has even earned the right, to be listened to.
So Anders looks back up with an expression that is more sullen than hopeful still, but he's trying.
"Almost everyone would find matters a great deal easier if I wasn't here, if I had never come. I don't know that I've done anything that makes my presence worth it, yet." He's not saying anything new, and he's not saying anything he hasn't heard said a dozen times at least, either. The only modification is 'almost;' he's insulted Nate enough with his mood and words, he doesn't need to act like he doubts other things his lover's said.
He looks away, and finally uncrosses his arms even though it takes conscious thought.
"Nothing's actually the matter. You'll be good at the task, you're already being good at it, and I'm being complicated." A complication, even. As usual.
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So Anders looks back up with an expression that is more sullen than hopeful still, but he's trying.
"Almost everyone would find matters a great deal easier if I wasn't here, if I had never come. I don't know that I've done anything that makes my presence worth it, yet." He's not saying anything new, and he's not saying anything he hasn't heard said a dozen times at least, either. The only modification is 'almost;' he's insulted Nate enough with his mood and words, he doesn't need to act like he doubts other things his lover's said.
He looks away, and finally uncrosses his arms even though it takes conscious thought.
"Nothing's actually the matter. You'll be good at the task, you're already being good at it, and I'm being complicated." A complication, even. As usual.