Anders (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
justice_is_blond) wrote2016-01-15 11:45 am
justice_is_blond) wrote2016-01-15 11:45 am
Inbox for Fade Rift
[Please leave a message after the beep that doesn't actually exist.]
No, no. I'm sorry. I'm simply trying to stay out... It's all right.
[It would have been nice to find Sina, to see if she would still care to hang out with him and a cat, but he doesn't know how she feels on the topic of his existence so he doesn't want to risk it.]
Can I... Will I bother you if I sit on the bench there?
[He nods to one just past the elfroot. The bush will mean he's fairly well out of sight of most people, and he can simply lean back and breathe and let Purrelden climb on him or chase butterflies.]
[It would have been nice to find Sina, to see if she would still care to hang out with him and a cat, but he doesn't know how she feels on the topic of his existence so he doesn't want to risk it.]
Can I... Will I bother you if I sit on the bench there?
[He nods to one just past the elfroot. The bush will mean he's fairly well out of sight of most people, and he can simply lean back and breathe and let Purrelden climb on him or chase butterflies.]
[Oh. OH RIGHT. Detlef. Which means Anders. Which means another person angry as shit with the Chantry.]
Doesn't bother me. If it bothers anyone, they can live with it. No law says you can't sit on benches.
Doesn't bother me. If it bothers anyone, they can live with it. No law says you can't sit on benches.
[There's a flash of something in his eyes - relief mixed with gratitude - before he's taking a seat and gently easing the kitten out of his belt pouch. He doesn't have very many options right now. Staying in his room makes him feel like the walls are closing in on him, he's a little too nervous to approach the healing tents just yet, the tavern is most definitely out... this is about it. And at least he's found someone his presence doesn't bother.
Purrelden wastes no time hopping down and poking at what looks to be a gopher hole. Anders, on the other hand, glances at Pel.]
Could you use a hand?
[It would be nice to not be entirely useless and hiding, but his voice still betrays his nerves.]
Purrelden wastes no time hopping down and poking at what looks to be a gopher hole. Anders, on the other hand, glances at Pel.]
Could you use a hand?
[It would be nice to not be entirely useless and hiding, but his voice still betrays his nerves.]
[Almost nobody besides Dalish knows Keeper magic. Pel hesitates for a few seconds, lingering on "you can't help," before giving in.]
Come here, I'll show you.
Come here, I'll show you.
[There are still people in this world who will show him kindness, beyond his current group of friends. It feels like a weight has been lifted as he kneels next to her. Purrelden is suddenly interested in climbing up his back, but that's all right. Anders knows how to focus with magic even with a cat climbing him. Heck, he's been fine casting spells with spiders climbing him.
For a given definition of fine.
That is: yelping and jumping but still casting correctly, at least.]
It's fascinating, the difference between nurturing a body and plants.
[The nerves are mostly gone, replaced by curiosity and oh-so-dangerous hope.]
For a given definition of fine.
That is: yelping and jumping but still casting correctly, at least.]
It's fascinating, the difference between nurturing a body and plants.
[The nerves are mostly gone, replaced by curiosity and oh-so-dangerous hope.]
I've known people who were sort of uncomfortable, as if I'm bringing life where there is none. But the life is already there, even in a nut or seed.
[Maybe he understands. Maybe he is a healer at heart. Maybe Varric's book painted him crazier than he is. But it's not for her to judge, if he really wants to help.]
Here. [She reaches out to place an acorn in his palm.] Try sprouting this. The life is already inside it, you just...coax it to peek out.
[Maybe he understands. Maybe he is a healer at heart. Maybe Varric's book painted him crazier than he is. But it's not for her to judge, if he really wants to help.]
Here. [She reaches out to place an acorn in his palm.] Try sprouting this. The life is already inside it, you just...coax it to peek out.
[He takes the acorn and looks it over, trying to gently feel life like he would in any living being. It takes a moment. He's never tried with plants before. Then, then he feels it, a little tendril of vitality, a small, sun-seeking instinct. Feeling it doesn't tell him how to coax it out without hurting it, though, so he's cautious.
Anders extends the smallest thread of creation magic to entwine with the tendril. When it catches he smiles faintly, but the task isn't done yet. In fact, the first time he tries to guide it out he slips and loses contact. It's the second when he manages to ease it out and is left with the smallest sprout in the palm of his hand.
He looks back up at Pel with a raised eyebrow, smile gone as quickly as it had come now that he's back out of the realm of casting and returned to the real world.]
Anders extends the smallest thread of creation magic to entwine with the tendril. When it catches he smiles faintly, but the task isn't done yet. In fact, the first time he tries to guide it out he slips and loses contact. It's the second when he manages to ease it out and is left with the smallest sprout in the palm of his hand.
He looks back up at Pel with a raised eyebrow, smile gone as quickly as it had come now that he's back out of the realm of casting and returned to the real world.]
Badly enough to ask sweetly? Not that I will deny you, not when you're so warm, so eager-
[ He actually brings a vial of oil close to the crystal, allowing the sound of the cork popping free to be audible. ]
I will open you slowly, Mio Bello. It has been such a long time, has it not? No matter how you whine or strain you only get as much as I am willing to give- and I wish to take my time in this as I stroke you from within.
[ He actually brings a vial of oil close to the crystal, allowing the sound of the cork popping free to be audible. ]
I will open you slowly, Mio Bello. It has been such a long time, has it not? No matter how you whine or strain you only get as much as I am willing to give- and I wish to take my time in this as I stroke you from within.
Healer Detlef,
You do not know me but you are dear to my older sister, Councilor Adelaide LeBlanc of the Inquisition. She has written me of you several times and I wish to thank you, sincerely, for your hand in her retaining her sanity and in finding someone that makes her happy in these tumultuous times. It has never been terribly easy for her to open up to others and since the war began, the Circles dissolved, and The massacre at the Spire-
I had never thought to read that she was doing so well or that she'd allow herself to lean on someone as she has come to do with you.
There is nothing I can do to repay this kindness as there is no price on returning my sister to some shade of who she was before. But enclosed you will find a cast of our family crest. Should you have need of aid or anything while in Val Royeaux, show this to any of the local merchants and they shall give directions to the family manor. Ask for me and I will do whatever I can for you.
Kindest Regards,
Gregoire LeBlanc
[He never gets letters. Not as Anders, and certainly not as Detlef as that man had only lived for a pair of months. Intrigued, he opens the envelope and reads... only for his face to crumple. He doesn't cry. He has enough control for that, at least, but it's a close thing.
The letter is carefully folded and tucked into the belt pouch that doesn't hold a destructive kitten, as is the token he'll never use. He has no right to it.
Screw Justice, screw the angry stares he'll get in the tavern, he needs a drink.]
The letter is carefully folded and tucked into the belt pouch that doesn't hold a destructive kitten, as is the token he'll never use. He has no right to it.
Screw Justice, screw the angry stares he'll get in the tavern, he needs a drink.]
Perfect.
[Pel cups her hands to take the sprout, then seems to change her mind.]
Keep it. Maybe plant it somewhere. Or just...have it on-hand to remember. Mages spend so much of our time concerned with possible death that we sometimes forget our purpose is life.
[Pel cups her hands to take the sprout, then seems to change her mind.]
Keep it. Maybe plant it somewhere. Or just...have it on-hand to remember. Mages spend so much of our time concerned with possible death that we sometimes forget our purpose is life.
Please.
[For Zevran he's entirely willing to beg.]
Zevran, please. Don't tease...
[He doesn't have oil, which means the best he can do is tease his asshole before licking the palm of his other hand and starting to stroke in earnest.]
It's been so long that I need this. Need more of you, and your fantastic fingers. And I know you want me.
[For Zevran he's entirely willing to beg.]
Zevran, please. Don't tease...
[He doesn't have oil, which means the best he can do is tease his asshole before licking the palm of his other hand and starting to stroke in earnest.]
It's been so long that I need this. Need more of you, and your fantastic fingers. And I know you want me.
[And now he has a tiny sprout. Anders blinks down at it, shifting it into one hand a moment later and using the other to retrieve the kitten that's currently climbing over his shoulder on a heading for the sprout out of a clear case of jealousy.]
Will it live long without being planted?
[He's a healer. Life should have been his purpose, but nothing had gone according to plan, or hope, or anything, and now death is what he's known for. Sometimes he accepts this. Sometimes he doesn't.]
I'd prefer not to kill it.
Will it live long without being planted?
[He's a healer. Life should have been his purpose, but nothing had gone according to plan, or hope, or anything, and now death is what he's known for. Sometimes he accepts this. Sometimes he doesn't.]
I'd prefer not to kill it.
Just like that.
[ Moaning to make the shudder audible, Zevran slicks his own fingers- much as he is describing the opposite this? Will help them both. Stone braced against his chest he lets his hand slide down, tease and toy and slide in deep, bottom dropping out of his voice in a low groan. ]
Can you take two, Gattino? Are you ready for more? Are you grinding down against what I have given you, curled hard and pressed where you need it most?
[ Moaning to make the shudder audible, Zevran slicks his own fingers- much as he is describing the opposite this? Will help them both. Stone braced against his chest he lets his hand slide down, tease and toy and slide in deep, bottom dropping out of his voice in a low groan. ]
Can you take two, Gattino? Are you ready for more? Are you grinding down against what I have given you, curled hard and pressed where you need it most?
Fuck.
[He can't just stroke himself to that, to Zevran's delicious noises and the change of his voice. It's time to resort back to hasty tricks learned in the Circle, sucking on fingers and slicking them like that before sliding one in and groaning. It's been so long, too long.]
Almost... almost.
[His voice is breathy, needy, words broken up with pants as he eases the second finger in.]
Two is so good. I have you inside me, I can feel, feel it down to my toes. Zevran... I'm arching up to kiss you, hands in your hair as I tangle our tongues together. I can't get enough of you.
[He can't just stroke himself to that, to Zevran's delicious noises and the change of his voice. It's time to resort back to hasty tricks learned in the Circle, sucking on fingers and slicking them like that before sliding one in and groaning. It's been so long, too long.]
Almost... almost.
[His voice is breathy, needy, words broken up with pants as he eases the second finger in.]
Two is so good. I have you inside me, I can feel, feel it down to my toes. Zevran... I'm arching up to kiss you, hands in your hair as I tangle our tongues together. I can't get enough of you.
[To say that things are chaotic after the ambush is putting it lightly, and while Jamie does his best to ignore the injuries to his neck for a little bit because of that, a long journey back means he does have to have it looked at so as not to run the risk of the blisters breaking and becoming infected.
As much as he's still not sure what to make of Anders being Anders and not Detlef, Anders had offered to take a look at people's injuries, and once things have calmed down as much as they're going to, he makes his way over to where the healer is, looking uncomfortable but still determined to see this through.]
That offer of yours still good?
As much as he's still not sure what to make of Anders being Anders and not Detlef, Anders had offered to take a look at people's injuries, and once things have calmed down as much as they're going to, he makes his way over to where the healer is, looking uncomfortable but still determined to see this through.]
That offer of yours still good?
Of course.
[There's a distance there now. Jamie isn't comfortable around him, and while it's discouraging, it's not exactly unexpected.]
That's a large part of why I'm here. Have a seat.
[That, and being near Skyhold for too long after the announcement was made could have been lethal. Anders puts up the notebook he'd been jotting things down in and pulls his staff over.]
Just the burns, or road aches and the like as well?
[There's a distance there now. Jamie isn't comfortable around him, and while it's discouraging, it's not exactly unexpected.]
That's a large part of why I'm here. Have a seat.
[That, and being near Skyhold for too long after the announcement was made could have been lethal. Anders puts up the notebook he'd been jotting things down in and pulls his staff over.]
Just the burns, or road aches and the like as well?
Soon.
[ So soon but not soon enough, he has to shift his grip to brace his heels on the bed, voice going thick at the next sharp curl of his fingers, stroking himself harder still. ]
Soon, soon- it has been so long and two is not enough even for me, I do not wish to hurt you. [ Though it is less a problem now than it would be otherwise. ] But I take you all the same. In you, tip to root in one stroke, gasping against your mouth as I grind myself in as deep as I can go-
[ So soon but not soon enough, he has to shift his grip to brace his heels on the bed, voice going thick at the next sharp curl of his fingers, stroking himself harder still. ]
Soon, soon- it has been so long and two is not enough even for me, I do not wish to hurt you. [ Though it is less a problem now than it would be otherwise. ] But I take you all the same. In you, tip to root in one stroke, gasping against your mouth as I grind myself in as deep as I can go-
[Given the reaction after the announcement was made, he can't really blame Anders for not wanting to be around Skyhold. There's a lot of people out for the man's blood. Even Jamie's not thrilled with him, although mostly because he feels like he's been tricked. That's always been a bit of a sore spot on his end, and it's hard to shake the feeling, even now, which shows in the set of his lips for a few seconds before he decides to just have out with what he's thinking.]
Don't know. Do you have anything that'll help someone who thought they'd made a friend, only to find out they'd been lied to the whole time?
[There's not as much heat behind the words as there once would've been, at least, but there's still some unhappiness there - and underneath, maybe a little bit of hurt as well. He'd liked Detlef. He doesn't know if he can like Anders, given what's happened, but the fact he's here in the first place means he might be willing to listen to what the man has to say.]
Don't know. Do you have anything that'll help someone who thought they'd made a friend, only to find out they'd been lied to the whole time?
[There's not as much heat behind the words as there once would've been, at least, but there's still some unhappiness there - and underneath, maybe a little bit of hurt as well. He'd liked Detlef. He doesn't know if he can like Anders, given what's happened, but the fact he's here in the first place means he might be willing to listen to what the man has to say.]
Well, I'm glad you found the people who are willing to not get a stick up their ass.
[ Not that she's BITTER OR ANYTHING. ]
But, I mean. You're right. I know you're right. All that about equality and healing and unity. It sure sounds good, at least. I'm just being ornery. I just wish that they'd be a little more willing to work their side of unity and all that stuff.
[ She grumbles a moment, then sighs. ]
You're real smart, you know that, Anders?
[ Not that she's BITTER OR ANYTHING. ]
But, I mean. You're right. I know you're right. All that about equality and healing and unity. It sure sounds good, at least. I'm just being ornery. I just wish that they'd be a little more willing to work their side of unity and all that stuff.
[ She grumbles a moment, then sighs. ]
You're real smart, you know that, Anders?
[Anders makes a noise that's between choked cough and snort.]
You realize you're telling that to the mage who ran away from the Circle seven times and got caught all seven, right? The one who could have gotten clean away but then went to Kirkwall? Who then also was safe and away for four years and then came to Skyhold? Smart might not exactly be the precise word for me.
But if you'd like, I'll introduce you to a few of the people who aren't assholes about Wardens. Zevran's an excellent place to start. Isabela is lovely. And there are others.
You realize you're telling that to the mage who ran away from the Circle seven times and got caught all seven, right? The one who could have gotten clean away but then went to Kirkwall? Who then also was safe and away for four years and then came to Skyhold? Smart might not exactly be the precise word for me.
But if you'd like, I'll introduce you to a few of the people who aren't assholes about Wardens. Zevran's an excellent place to start. Isabela is lovely. And there are others.
[He looks away from Jamie for a moment before shaking his head and looking back up at the guy.]
The only lie I told you was my name. It was a continuous lie, and you've every right to be upset by that.
[His hand glows green as he gestures for Jamie to come close enough for precise, accurate healing.]
I am sorry for lying, Jamie. But I was honest in everything else, and if I'd been fully honest I would be dead.
The only lie I told you was my name. It was a continuous lie, and you've every right to be upset by that.
[His hand glows green as he gestures for Jamie to come close enough for precise, accurate healing.]
I am sorry for lying, Jamie. But I was honest in everything else, and if I'd been fully honest I would be dead.
[His lips press together at the words 'continuous lie', but the last part of what Anders says is enough to get him to pause and give Anders a long look. It's a thoughtful look, though, and after that short hesitation he takes the few steps needed to close the gap between the two of them.]
Why? Because of what was said on that announcement?
[That would make some sense, but he's still not entirely sure of all the motives behind Anders coming here and using a false name, and even as he comes to a stop he takes a breath and looks Anders square in the eyes.]
Look, I'm not sure what all that means, but maybe you if you'd be willing to explain I'd be willing to listen.
Why? Because of what was said on that announcement?
[That would make some sense, but he's still not entirely sure of all the motives behind Anders coming here and using a false name, and even as he comes to a stop he takes a breath and looks Anders square in the eyes.]
Look, I'm not sure what all that means, but maybe you if you'd be willing to explain I'd be willing to listen.
[He takes a breath as well before nodding and starting to work on the wound.]
I'm willing to explain. I'm not sure where to start, but I'm willing.
[And where to start is really the big question here.]
Do you have specific questions? Somewhere, something that makes this more confusing?
[The blisters are a mess, but he's seen worse. Gently Anders begins easing the worst of them.]
I'm willing to explain. I'm not sure where to start, but I'm willing.
[And where to start is really the big question here.]
Do you have specific questions? Somewhere, something that makes this more confusing?
[The blisters are a mess, but he's seen worse. Gently Anders begins easing the worst of them.]
[The morning's passed... relatively uneventfully, actually. There's a routine, people still come to be healed, and even though there's a distance between him and Adelaide, there isn't constant clashing. Maybe time will help him find a way to cross that distance, but for now Anders is at peace with what is here.
A new voice starts speaking over the sending crystal, one Anders isn't sure he's familiar with, but the very opening has him stiffening. Innocents imprisoned? By Cassandra? It doesn't surprise Justice in the least, and before Anders can think they're reaching for the crystal to talk back.]
A new voice starts speaking over the sending crystal, one Anders isn't sure he's familiar with, but the very opening has him stiffening. Innocents imprisoned? By Cassandra? It doesn't surprise Justice in the least, and before Anders can think they're reaching for the crystal to talk back.]
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